Despite being throttled by noise (and other kinds of) pollution, Seth and I were determined to have a conversation. You see we hadn't had a conversation in a long time. School, work, idon'tknow, had gotten in the way nine times (to a full ten) out of ten.
"I mean I understand what you're saying man," said Seth with measured respect as he eased his drink to a landing on the table, its surface plastered by a honeyed residue. "I just think it's easy, where you are, to say what you say...and live it too"
Leaning back, I calmly replied, "how so?"
"You live at home dude; you have hardly any belongings and even less money, and you don't really have to worry about those things, because, you know, you're family's there."
"Seth, regardless my situation, the logic of my position is sound." Moving forward to rest my forearms on the table, I raised my eyebrow and continued, "I just don't see how we can justify spending the kind of money on ourselves that we do, given the suffering that exists, and the very real impact we can have on that suffering with the money we use to buy those luxuries."
Eyes narrowing, ever so slightly, Seth put his back to his chair and slid his drink forward, "and what have you given to help the suffering?"
//
Belief is a funny thing. For the most part, our beliefs are the principles we act on. I believe in gravity, so I don't freak out when I drop from a tree, a cliff, or remain attached to the ground. I believe it, so I act on it. Our beliefs about the physical word are functional insofar as they are acted upon. After all, it would seem manifestly stupid of me to start screaming when I jumped from a diving board because of the inevitable fall that results, as if that's a surprise, or for me to express grave doubt as to whether I will fall before I jump, given my assurance to all that I believe in a physical force that makes things in our physical situation fall in that physical situation--jumping.
But beliefs of other kinds seem to escape that principle of absurdity outside functionality. Like moral beliefs. Many of us have, for instance, strong beliefs about prostitution. It seems--and clearly is--wrong for anyone to pay someone else to provide them with sexual pleasure; it reduces the sexual act to a monetary transaction, and it degrades the person whose "services" are purchased to the level of a utility--like a blender or hot water: something you get because you paid for it, because you like it. You know, objectification; this shouldn't be news to anyone. But, the thing is, almost everyone who believes this regularly, or at least has on several occasions, viewed through purchase video media that includes nudity. Now, excuses aside, the fact remains that our purchase and subsequent viewing is an action not unlike the use of prostitution that is so clearly morally repugnant. But we balk at the suggestion, as if, somehow, when the sexual favors become included in a classic film things cease to be so clear. I mean the analogy isn't exactly difficult to draw. The purchase of that viewing, however acquired, funds people who tell other people to take their clothes off and, often, perform sexual acts that are almost always undeniably intended to elicit arousal. It doesn't matter if you're aroused by it or not; your money goes directly to an institution that provides that service to others who are. Don't wax into the gray area and waffled it around in your head; it is what it is. But, regardless of this reality and our so strongly held beliefs about human dignity and our duty to protect it we will continue to do things that seem to deny those moral convictions.
The thing is, Hypocrisy is as ingrained and patently obvious as moral conviction.
//
"I don't think I have to argue whether abortion is right or wrong, Alex, because I think the argument is pointless."
"What do you mean, Jeff?"
"Well," my English professor replied, "I don't think anyone acts like it is as wrong as they say it is, regardless of how strong their beliefs are. I mean, if people really believed that fetuses are people like people are people then very few could say they act like it.
Imagine there's a house a block from where you live, and, in that house, 2 people are killed by gunshot every hour. They're just murdered, you know. Shot through the head and they drop to the ground and bleed out. If you knew that was happening you'd call the police. Even if was legal, in whatever hypothetical country you were in, you'd hear the screams, and you would try to stop the massacre. The thing is, people don't believe, whatever they say, that fetuses are people like people are people. Otherwise, we'd see a lot more people rushing into clinics as if actual lives were on the line. Instead we have people bemoaning the "injustice of it all," while all the time half-believing the "injustice of it all."
//
The chocolate industry, like apparel and many other products, is supported by slave labor. When you purchase a Hershey bar you are, like it or not, supporting slavery. I know all about this; I've known about it for years. But, despite that knowledge, over the past 8 or so months I've purchased at least 10 items that contain, most likely, ill-gotten chocolate, hating myself the whole time, of course, but I still enjoyed those truffles--every one. Intellectually I fully understand that I promote human suffering, however infinitesimally, with the purchase of every such item, but human suffering sounds like such a silly topic when I've got product in hand. Who wants to talk about slavery when there's brownies to eat?
I mean, I love brownies.
When it comes down to it, our belief in the value of the lives of others are, in many ways, as frail a belief as so many other so-called beliefs. I say, with great passion and earnestness, that I want to change the world with love, but I walk right by beggars everyday whose lives are punctuated by suffering I could only imagine. So I let my imagining suffice. Plainly, their suffering isn't real to me. Their lives inconsequential; perhaps they're intellectually acknowledged--but functionally irrelevant persons. But I'm able to live with myself because integrity is something I can do without; I'm able to continue due to my almost unending capacity to tolerate loss of self-respect. And, even if I give them some money, or whatever, it's really more for me than it is for them; I'm trying to pay off my guilt, not buy them happiness...really.
It's not like I'm defeated about it all. Well, I kinda am. But, maybe I should say that the fact that I'm defeated about it all isn't all that bad. The law, as the Word teaches, brings death--even the humane laws have this same consequence; the belief that other people are valuable is a statute as impossible to live by as any other. But realizing that even the most basic of common moral principles is something that I habitually refuse to live by brings me to a place of humility that I cannot explain, but I know can be learned from.
I mean, we have choice. I'm not a Calvinist; I think the thing that make humans special is that unlike the rest of the physical universe our relationship with other things isn't purely causal. I think that a portion of the meaning of life is somehow bound up in that singularity. And it is because of that gift, fully realized in s@lvation, that I believe that change is possible. The law does bring death, but another reason the law was created was that G*d, I believe, actually expected people to follow it.
//
My pace was alright--not the best--but I was sick, after all; food poisoning had wrecked my body for the first couple days in Thailand. I needed to catch up with Robert and David; they were itching to order breakfast I'm sure, and my inconvenient bathroom break had stalled things. The run was inundated by the usual sights and sounds of Patong beach's coastal market: masseuses shooting their availability, cabs and scooters blitzing the beach, suit salesmen and fruit stalls displaying their wares--the sun beat down relentless...and beggars.
Back bent and eyes gleaming impossibly piteous, she looked me square, and a slender, filthy hand extended out for alms--her other hand busy attending an equally slender and dirty child. I flew by. But, not 50 yards past, I decided that maybe breakfast wasn't as important as other things. Like people.
"How think you that you obey Chr1st's commandments, when you spend your time collecting interest, piling up loans, buying slaves like livestock, and merging business with business?...And that is not all. Upon all this you heap injustice, taking possession of lands and houses, and multiplying poverty and hunger"
--John Chrysostom
